I had drifted into a state unconscious emotional disturbance, wafting between depression and anxiety, ashamed of what had happened, worried about what might happen. I engaged in a regular practice
of hating myself or blaming others.
I distracted myself with all kinds of behavior, not wanting to feel anything. I rarely owned my contributing thoughts and actions. I merely stewed in shame, unaware of any process, asleep to any other way of life.
I am moving toward myself, my real self. I am turning down the volume on the demands of my fearful false self. I give myself permission to feel what I am feeling. I regularly talk with someone about what is going on, someone I trust, someone who can simply listen. I step into freedom. All options are on the table. I embrace the journey.
I grasp this process, fully aware of the challenges. I am reclaiming my life through the Steps. I have moments when I respond in a healthy way to current events. I give myself credit. I applaud my own effort. I allow the compliments of others. Feeling good feels good.
I reward myself often. I treat myself with dignity. I give myself latitude for mistakes made on this ‘one-step-forward-two-steps-back’ mission of recovery. I treat myself with respect. I realize my moments in courage. I appreciate who I am. I marvel at how far I have come…
ONE DAY AT A TIME