SUPPORTING OTHERS

I had grown weary and bored with helping others, burned out. I rarely got the results hoped for.

My advice went unheeded most of the time. And worse, I had been blamed at times for meddling in others’ affairs. Admittedly, I took some secret delight when observing their struggle.

My critical assessment having proved true, I could say with pride, ‘I told you so; I saw that one coming; I tried to warn them’. Often, the very issue with which I was struggling, was the issue I could plainly see in others; ‘spot it, you got it!’

My actions stemmed from an old fear of not being seen, a fear of having no actual value. The logic went something like: ‘Make yourself useful, prove your worth and you won’t be cast away’. By the time I found the rooms, I had essentially imploded. I had collapsed in my effort to establish a reason for living.

Having dismissed the false self in Steps Six and Seven, I am returning to a real self. No longer terrified of abandonment, I am free to express myself which, among many other things, still includes helping others. However, I am aware of my first loyalty, me.

I put the program FIRST in my life FOR my life.

Step Twelve suggests that I carry this message to others and practice my program. I
increase my chances of a full recovery when I share freely of what I have been given, namely, a genuine self: available, supportive, and awake. I allow others the dignity of exercising their own solutions in their own time, in their own way.

I politely listen as problems are defined and stories are told. Most importantly,
I validate feelings when they are expressed. I don’t have the answer to
anyone else’s problem. I realize that resolution for most people comes from within. I
respect the journey of others.

I LIVE AND LET LIVE