ANCHORING MYSELF

There were times when I attached myself to various scenarios, hoping to feel connected. Whether I was the one calling the shots or the one reacting to the shots being called, the outcome seemed better than the alternative: being all alone, being unemployed, or being left out. Denial of my condition kept me stuck.

Fear of the unknown kept me going back for more. Circumstances dictated my state of mind. Oddly enough, these situations felt familiar, almost comfortable. Pain was a strange bedfellow.

I am returning to home base, my real self. In my returning, I find a sense of clarity, a sense of solid well-being, a sense of something indicative of a ‘true north’.

With the help of the program, I am finding a place in the world that is reasonably safe, reasonably predictable. In the meetings, I find people who are searching for healthier solutions, willing to establish new boundaries, and hoping for a more solid foundation going forward. Little by little, I find my truth.

Home is defined as, a place established to encourage the nurture and growth of those
who enter therein. Each week when I attend my regular ‘home group’,
I feel as though I am walking through a door upon which hangs the sign, ENTER
HERE ALL WHO SEEK SAFETY AND PEACE.

Thanks to the design of the meetings: the rotating chairperson, the no-crosstalk
expectation, the non-affiliation with any outside organization,

I am free to explore my truth.
I am free to take what I like. I am free to leave the rest. I am free to come.
I am free to go. In short, I am free to be who I am.